As humans, everyday is a new opportunity to see life in a more positive way than yesterday.
Everyday is a chance to meet someone new, try a new food, get your dream job, fly across the world.
Do you understand that we, as humans, can do whatever we want?
If you wake up tomorrow and decide to go out and do that thing you’ve been dreaming about doing for half your life, just think about how different things would look for you.
Mundane everyday things like your 9-5 or home chores like doing the dishes or folding the laundry might now be seen as ‘not so bad’ because a percentage of our time is being dedicated to our true essence.
When we learn to listen to, trust, and answer the calling of our true essence, everything begins to shift.
Our dream version of ourselves begins to shine thru, and all of the sudden reality looks different.
Everything starts to look brighter, emotions start to calm, your mind is able to sustain a constant feeling of confidence, trust in yourself, trust in god/source.
This propels you thru each day with an excitement and lust for life that you’ve only felt when you’ve intentionally gone in search of it.

Over the years I’ve become so in-tune with my intuitional voice, (true essence), that sometimes if I defy or ignore her calls, she creates chaos around me.
She gets louder, and louder, and louder until I can’t drown out the calling anymore.
Sometimes we fight, but she always wins.
When I answer her calls, I’m led down paths that I’ve only dreamed of walking.

I think we need to be reminded that we are capable of literally anything we put our minds to.
Call it manifestation, call it whatever you wish, but I’m telling you.. when you start listening to yourself, and I mean really listening…
crazy shit starts to happen for you.

Only in dreams have I piloted an aircraft.. until the day I chose to make this dream a reality.

I’m currently coming out of a major depression during which my intuition was screaming at me to
“Just go live already!!! Get off the couch! Get outside! Remember who you are!!!“
This would cause so much anxiety to boil up inside my chest and my stomach.
This anxiety would wake me up at night and never allow me to go back to sleep.
My stomach would bubble and my heart seemed to flutter in an uncomfortable way, as if it was trying to escape from my body.
Knowing I was missing out on valuable days and purposely isolating myself was frustrating to my true essence.
At this particular point in time though, I needed to be alone and reevaluate everything I’d been programming over the last few years.
I’d fight with myself to get out of the house, even if it was just to run to the store or to the post office.
If I got out of my house during this time, that was a victory.
I’d lay in bed and my mind would wander to a period in time where I was absolutely shredding life.
I was destroying fear as it came.
I was jumping out of airplanes, swimming and surfing in the ocean during storms, blacking out in clubs on random nights with my best friend, then waking up with the sunrise the next day feeling so alive.
I was singing on weekends with a local band, The Wolves.
I even went sky diving with the bassist from one of my favorite bands growing up –
& that was a trip, mostly because he was surprised I recognized him…
meanwhile I was trying not to pass out from fangirl fever.
I was dating here and there during this time period, but my focus was so self-centered that I ended up living this awesome fantasy life without even trying to.
I didn’t need a partner to make me feel worthy of taking up space.
Remembering this version of myself was a huge wake up call.

“Girl. Get up. You had your space to wallow in this. It’s time to create a new dream.”

The sad thing about life is how as kids we’re taught this one sort of ‘blueprint’ to follow in order to be successful, but maybe that blueprint is outdated and is no longer the only way to define yourself as “successful”.

1. Study hard
2. Get good grades
3. Go to a good college
4. Get good grades
5. Get a good job
6. Get married
7. Buy a house
8. Have kids
9. Raise kids
10. Retire

Life cannot be contained in a 10 step cycle.
We were not meant for that – we were not put on this earth to study, reproduce and die.

Listen, hats off to the scholars. The doctors. The scientists who go to school for years and years because they are so passionate about their career field that they dedicate their lives to it entirely.
To be so hungry for knowledge is a gift.
To take that knowledge and use it to change the world for the better is an even bigger gift.
Hats off to the full time stay-at-home parents, who put themselves last on the totem pole every single day to make sure their kids are supported and loved; trading their lives for their children’s over & over.
Again, if that is your life’s purpose, hats off.
But if you, yourself, as a person, are unhappy at the end of each day, I’d look at you from an outside perspective and say you probably haven’t been listening close enough to your true essence.
Maybe you bought into the blueprint and only saw one path to success;
the path of your mother, father, grandfather, role model, whoever…
Know that you don’t have to force yourself thru a career for other people.
Know that your career doesn’t have to define you completely.
Know that you can make an off-beat choice, struggle for a while, and then come out of it with your own version of a success story.
Know that you can change any aspect of your life that you are not happy with.
Why are only a few career fields considered “successful” anyway?
Let’s eradicate the idea that success is not a subjective thing,
because it is.
Let’s also eradicate the idea that success is determined by dollars,
because it is not.

Relevant side story:
I was broker than broke when I was living my little sky-diving, ocean dwelling, sunrise chasing fantasy life. Luckily I’ve always maintained good credit.
My ex-boss was taking extreme advantage of me monetarily, and running me ragged 6 days a week.
I had more debt than dollars to my name back then, but I was still out there shredding it.
This makes me laugh today, when I work for myself, I’m definitely in a comfier spot, and yet I debate getting the more expensive lemons from the grocery store.
I guess that comes from growing up and becoming more financially intelligent when it comes to carrying debt because yes, it did take me a while to pay off the fantasy life hobbies.
But! I did eventually pay everything off, and now I’m debt free at 32 which feels so good!
& truly, if I woke up tomorrow, back in that time period, I wouldn’t do a thing differently.
(other than quitting that job way sooner)
Following my true essence, despite “limitations” led me to memories I’ll have for the rest of my life, led to my passion for aviation, & led to some awesome friends.
& when I needed it, somehow the money to pay my mortgage & bills was always there, in my account.
I was barely making it, but I was making it. And I was happy. Genuinely.
So again, MONEY DOESN’T HAVE TO DEFINE SUCCESS.

For me, success is defined as a life well lived.
Ever since I was old enough to understand that I have limited time here,
(which if you read my last post, happened quite young)
I’ve wanted to make sure I collected as many firsts as possible.
If it’s a new experience, count me in.
Something I’ve never tasted? Music I’ve never heard?
Plant medicine I haven’t yet been called to but have always wondered about?
Count me in, baby.

I have this irrational fear of looking back with regret of not doing every single thing I wanted to do while I had the chance.
That fear cancels out any mental fear that comes up when I try things that would be considered to others as “totally fucking nuts”.
I’ve thought about it and I could definitely be addicted to the build up of new exciting firsts.
Days leading up are filled with wonder and child-like curiosity.
My palms get sweaty and my mind races during the act of actually doing it.
Then, my favorite, the come down..
that feeling of omg I just DID THAT. I just accomplished a life goal. I. Alone. Did. That.
It’s honestly like a drug.. but a healthy drug.
I stopped chasing that high for a while, but I think at this point I can’t fight my true essence anymore.
I am supposed to be in the sky and in the ocean a lot during this season of life so alas,
we will realign our actions with said goals and see what happens.

I also want to say, because no one said this to me and I needed to hear it;
it’s okay to not be okay for a while.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel entirely “okay” emotionally, and that has come out through a ton of therapy, self reflection, & shadow work… you name it, I have probably tried it.
(as many firsts as possible, remember?)
But I have learned so much about why I am the way I am thru these practices.
None of the trauma I carry was my fault, and it’s okay to not ride the wave of normalcy all the time.
I’m not a 9-5.. I’m a creative. INFJ personality type.
I’ve been considered weird my entire life, and it used to bother me.
Now I laugh about it. I am weird.
I’m a fucking nerdy weirdo who believes in aliens and shops in the mens department and loves conspiracy theories and philosophy and psychology and science experiments and magic shows.
It’s ok to break character and not be so fucking buttoned up all the time.
It’s ok to live your life according to you and no one else, and if people currently in your life start to fall away because of that, then they weren’t meant for this season.
They weren’t meant to come on this leg of the journey with you.
If you keep listening to that inner knowing deep in your soul,
it will guide you to where you’re supposed to be.
Next time you have a quiet moment to yourself,
(I suggest meditating in the woods on a sunny day or taking a hot bubble bath while doing this),
close your eyes and listen.
Ask yourself, what ignites your soul?
Then, go chase it, see where you end up…
it could be the path you’ve been searching for your whole life.
The thing about fantasies is that they’re only fantasies until we choose otherwise.

Carpe Diem.